I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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