who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
