I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
