evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
