We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
