I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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