I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
