I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
