AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
