don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
