It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
