Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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