you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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