tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
