Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
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