Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
