Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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