The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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