It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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