when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Randomize
