As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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