omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
