Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
