There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
foreskin is a definite game changer
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Randomize
