Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
