when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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