What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
