i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
it's great music for shaving your balls
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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