thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize