I feel like I'm in dance class right now
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
