a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
do herpes really smell.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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