how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
