Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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