mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
