That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
