I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
