Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
