Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
