i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
