So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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