i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
