those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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