I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
be right there i have to get my cape
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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