i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
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