she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
