its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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