No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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