So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
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