fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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