I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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