How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
