FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
