Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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