shes about as inviting as chlamydia
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
