Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
