Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
